Change, what defines it? With a plethora of definitions, including: “an act or process through which something becomes different”, “make or become different”, or “A new or refreshingly different experience.” How does that make you feel?
For me, change once represented anxiety, fear, and grief. Avoiding new friendships for fear of abandonment and judgment, or staying in a toxic relationship because it wasn’t all the time. My mind used to turn off like a switch, zero control of my own emotions and weight of worthlessness on my shoulders.
Reflecting back, it just seems like an abundance of time washed over me, never to be gathered again. Falling into pits of misery and self-pity without enacting any change. I would sit each day bingeing shows, scrolling through social media and passed through a stream of the nothingness of others’ thoughts, dreams, and lives. Emptiness slowly filled me and life was dull, insipid and worthless.
Something snapped. I don’t know what changed my mind or sparked the change, but I realized that the change began now. The answer was so easy, so simple and just required the act of doing. I had to discover my dreams, desires, and goals, and build a path to attain them. Perhaps it was a realization of all the time wasted just sitting around, absorbing information quickly, frequently and with no pattern or attention. I felt like I was more than that, more than a rotting couch potato. I wanted to learn, try new things, be more. I wanted nothing less than change, and I still do to this day.
This blog is meant to be a log of lifestyle changes, which so far since the new year January 01, 2018, I have been experienced changes with the following: vegetarianism, exercise, ambition, goals, health, diet, showers, self, respect, money, interests, recipes, values, and more.
I want to share with you, my experience of change.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Mahatma Ghandi